Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Update on no reading week...
The short version...I quit.
The long version...I decided yesterday that no reading week is making me miserable. I see the value of it and recognize why it may work for some people. I certainly am in the population of folks Cameron writes about in the Artist's Way when she says (and I am paraphrasing from memory here) that some people use words as medicine or a drug. Think of it as fast food- if you eat too much of it, it clogs you. Cameron says that many creative people numb themselves with words and then do not leave open room, space, brain cells for writing and other creative outlets. She says that eventually, in the time you would have spent reading, first you will get work done, but eventually you will have to fill that time with play.
My issue is that I tend to read to get me through the day at work. When I need a quick break, I skim my email or check in with two or three blogs, or read the news headlines, or see what Dear Abby has to say today. Nothing "abusive" of my employers connectivity of course, but just a few minutes of re-charge while moving from one task to another. I have to challenge Cameron here...I am not going to take my 10 minutes of Dear Abby time and write a poem. It is just not going to happen!
Sure, I could skip the quick re-charge break and just work straight through. I could also work myself into a panicked, agoraphobia stupor. So yesterday, I started reading to get me through the day. Just a few things- Michelle's blog, my email, some messages on the Artist's Way board. Today, my sister's blog, some news stories, and two of my favorite knitting blogs- Wendy and Pioneer Melissa.
I am not reading novels. I am doing my best to stay away from magazines although I read the letters to the editor in the new Oprah yesterday. I am not checking email or blogs in the mornings before work or in the evenings after work. I did read a chapter of Order of the Phoenix to Michelle last night. I was on tv overload and needed a break.
I am having a terrible time trying to write. It does not have anything to do with the amount I am reading. It has to do with perfectionism, my biggest, nastiest goblin. What I am writing is simply not good enough. And if it is not good enough, I am not going to bother. I know that this is a stinky attitude and I am trying to write through it in my morning pages but I can not bring myself to write. NaNoWriMo is too much, too big to deal with. I am overwhelmed. I need to start smaller. Maybe with the Autobiography Kit I bought a few years ago. Maybe blogging more often. Maybe journaling more than only the morning pages.
I know I have work to do. Send good thoughts!
The long version...I decided yesterday that no reading week is making me miserable. I see the value of it and recognize why it may work for some people. I certainly am in the population of folks Cameron writes about in the Artist's Way when she says (and I am paraphrasing from memory here) that some people use words as medicine or a drug. Think of it as fast food- if you eat too much of it, it clogs you. Cameron says that many creative people numb themselves with words and then do not leave open room, space, brain cells for writing and other creative outlets. She says that eventually, in the time you would have spent reading, first you will get work done, but eventually you will have to fill that time with play.
My issue is that I tend to read to get me through the day at work. When I need a quick break, I skim my email or check in with two or three blogs, or read the news headlines, or see what Dear Abby has to say today. Nothing "abusive" of my employers connectivity of course, but just a few minutes of re-charge while moving from one task to another. I have to challenge Cameron here...I am not going to take my 10 minutes of Dear Abby time and write a poem. It is just not going to happen!
Sure, I could skip the quick re-charge break and just work straight through. I could also work myself into a panicked, agoraphobia stupor. So yesterday, I started reading to get me through the day. Just a few things- Michelle's blog, my email, some messages on the Artist's Way board. Today, my sister's blog, some news stories, and two of my favorite knitting blogs- Wendy and Pioneer Melissa.
I am not reading novels. I am doing my best to stay away from magazines although I read the letters to the editor in the new Oprah yesterday. I am not checking email or blogs in the mornings before work or in the evenings after work. I did read a chapter of Order of the Phoenix to Michelle last night. I was on tv overload and needed a break.
I am having a terrible time trying to write. It does not have anything to do with the amount I am reading. It has to do with perfectionism, my biggest, nastiest goblin. What I am writing is simply not good enough. And if it is not good enough, I am not going to bother. I know that this is a stinky attitude and I am trying to write through it in my morning pages but I can not bring myself to write. NaNoWriMo is too much, too big to deal with. I am overwhelmed. I need to start smaller. Maybe with the Autobiography Kit I bought a few years ago. Maybe blogging more often. Maybe journaling more than only the morning pages.
I know I have work to do. Send good thoughts!
Comments:
Post a Comment
